Profile of a Binge
Eating disorders present many faces, and binge eating is often part of the presentation. According to the American Psychiatirc Association, a binge is characterized by losing control and eating, within a discrete period of time - usually two hours - an amount of food that is difinitely larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time and under similar circumstances. However, tmost ordinary people define a binge as just losing control over eating. Factors like the amount of food eaten, numbers of calories consumed, or eating because of negative emotions are less important than the feeling of being out of control.
Some binges involve eating large amounts of food; some just a bite of something forbidden. For many people with an eating disorder, but especially for those who are anorexic, a binge may mean eating anything at all, regardless of quantity. Eating high-fat or high-calorie food, eating in unusual places (as in the car,) or eating a particular times of day, for example, at night, may cause many people to label eating as a "binge".
Some binges have a distinctive beginning and end and occur within a discrete time period' others seem to have a less discernible course and may last for days. An example of the latter is the "grazing binge", which involves eating more or less continuously throughout the day. Feeling out of control is the hallmark of all binges. Binge eating refers to eating that results from the loosening of constraints that define a desired way of eating, leading ultimately to a perceived loss of control over eating behavior.
Whoa. This is me. Even when I was in therapy for my B.E.D., I never heard it described quite this well. I'm going to travel back in time to my last binge and see what started it off.
I was coming home from Washington D.C. where I attended the Beachbody Gameplan training event. Things were great, I was super motivated, but (if you watched my video you know this) I blew out a tire and had to replace all 4. This was an extra $800 that I wasn't planning on spending. I started thinking about money on the way back and getting worried about what winter's going to bring.
I needed gas, so I stopped at a rest stop and bought a tank (another $40) which frankly, isn't a deal breaker for me. I'm doing ok with money, but all the costs of the trip seemed to be adding up and got overwhelming. When I went in for a coffee, I spotted these little quarts of ice cream (not so little actually) and thought, "What the hell, I deserve it." In 2 minutes I was walking to my car with 2 quarts of ice cream and a brick of peanut butter fudge. I thought, I didn't use my "cheat meal" for the 21 day challenge this week, so this will count, no worries....
I devoured that stuff and in 30 minutes I was at the Irwin exit - still a solid hour from home. I stopped - again, without thinking, and hit the Taco Bell drivethru. 3 tacos, the flat pizza thing, nachos and large pop later, I was driving again.
I was about a mile from home and thinking about what I was going to do that night, probably a movie and some PS3 was going to be the nights fun. I didn't even know what I was doing, compeletely out of control, I hit the gas station near my house and walked out with 2 more quarts of cookie-dough ice cream, 2 king size reeses cups, a family size bag of lime flavored chips and cheese dip.
I ate all of that during the first hour of the movie.
Guys - this is out of control. Even just writing this - frankly, makes my mouth water. I want this food - but you know what - I want to beat this addiction more. I want to be ripped more. I want to be healthier and live longer MORE.
It's time for change. It's time to make public and admit my struggles. It's time to address them for real, not by just sneaking off to a therapy session and lying to my friends about what I'm doing. Full disclosure from now on.
No more games.
No more lies.
No more bullshit.
This is my line in the sand.
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